A Different Take On Mainstream

Losing My Sense of Direction

The first time I ever saw snow fall. Circa this time last year, Jerusalem, Israel. 

       Hiya Folks, I hope you are all doing well and that your respective work/college/high school isn’t killing you too much.
       I want to speak about something that has been on my mind for a while, and honestly, if you are feeling the same way, then I hope that you might be able to find solace with my words.

       A lot of people have preconceived notions about what a blog–sorry–successful blog is supposed to be about. They think that blogs must be about makeup, fashion, lipstick, more lipstick, in order to succeed. And so they write about it. I know that I definitely struggle with this notion myself. I see all these blogs, with tons of hits and followers that simply review eyeshadow primers and H&M booties all day everyday–and so I think “I must be like them”. “In order to succeed I must write about this stuff as well”. It doesn’t matter if I am even passionate about eyeshadow primers– this is what the public wants to read about, so this is what I should give them.

Lipstick, nail polish–same thing. It’s Pom Pom by Urban Outfitters by the way. 

STOP–STOP– HOLDUP.

We all know, as fellow bloggers, that this is a horrendously horrible state of mind to be in. And furthermore, it just makes you hate what you write and produce.
       You see, there comes a point in most bloggers’ careers, when they secretly have all this passion- all this music that is waiting to burst out and concretize itself in the form of a blog post– so that others may be inspired by that passion and music. Yet with that secret passion often comes the deadly fear. That deadly fear that wiggles into your inner ear and whispers how they won’t like what you create. How they might get offended by what you have to say. How they would much rather read about lipsticks than any drivel you want to promote. And so the deadly whisper kills your music.

A striking painting I found in a Downtown LA locals’ art gallery. I have no idea who painted this. Sorry. 

I know that I am not the only one who has felt that fear kill my ideas. You see, I personally, would love to publish tons of different, eclectic content. Just to show you that extent of what I have repressed, here is a minor list of ideas that I haven’t dared publish:

  • What’s going on in Israel– what they don’t tell you– from an Israeli’s perspective (I was there, I personally felt what was going on)– and yet I think, no, I might get some haters and anti-semites, so I don’t publish this.
  • How to deal with difficult/bigoted professors- I honestly struggle with this all the time, and I am sure  a lot of other college students do as well. Yet I think, no, this may offend people as well, so I don’t publish this.
  • My opinions on books that I have read/thematic discussions about their content.
  • Introducing new and obscure music I have discovered. 
  • Honestly just more rants about social issues– I want this to be an intelligent blog. [Not that lipsticks are not intelligent, I’m sure you can get a lot of intellectual stimulation out of a good debate between Charlotte Tilbury and Nars lipsticks]. 
  • More fashion posts– because I do indeed love fashion.
  • More college posts in general- how to deal with being/going to university. 
  • Healthy lifestyle posts- because I am super into health, and I’d like to share how to get into such a lifestyle. 

ETCETERA.

       And so I write about lipsticks. Or their equivalent. But do you know what? I also know that a blog can never really stand out, if its author hasn’t even found her voice. I feel like I have been so busy trying to cater to what people like to read that I have lost my own voice in the process. After all, it will only be my voice that people end up listening to, so I had better find it, no? All this time I have envied all the bloggers out there with such a strong voice- who confidently believe in what they are writing. But all they have really done is connected with their voice, declared who they were loud and clear, and people listened.
       So I say this: I know that I cannot change all at once. I know that it is an arduous process to wholly reveal who you really are. But I know, just like anyone who feels that they have lost their inner voice– that it can be found again.

A light at the end of the tunnel. One of my favorite pictures I have ever taken. City of David, Israel. 

So I will mark today as day 1 of the journey to find my inner voice. and I invite anyone who has felt, or feels as if their inner voice is lost to join me on my quest. I know that we will all win in the end.
       So here is step 1: Take a deep breathe, shut off all the noise from other blogs and all other preconceived notions and think: what are the things that inspire you?

And start from there.

Love,
Cynical Duchess

PS– I advertise a lot in the beauty bloggers’ world. Would these things be something you guys would be interested in hearing about? If not, would someone please tell me where the nerd world hangs out? Please let me know in the comments if there are other fellow nerd/beauty bloggers out there that I can commiserate with- or tell me if you are one yourself!

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