|Yes I took this picture, yes the rainbows are fake, but sometimes, we all need rainbows in our lives, even if we forcibly have to add them in.
Hey partners, how are all of you lovely people? I first want to thank you all, sincerely from the bottom of my heart, for all of your comments on every post, and for taking the time to read what I write. It honestly feels like a million bucks that someone out there, where ever they are in the world, has taken the time to stop for a moment, and take in what I’ve created. It makes me feel really appreciated, and everyone likes to feel appreciated. So thank you, like really really.
I want to talk about something that we all go through at some point in our lives, even if we hide it from the rest of the world, even if we plaster on a smile and pretend it doesn’t exist–we all go through it. Challenges. There is always a time at some point in our lives when living starts to feel very difficult. Who knows what someone can be going through when we pass them by on the street, sit next to them on a bus, watch them go by as we flit past in our warm mechanical cars. That girl you just saw today, with the short curly red hair and the jean cutoffs– her boyfriend could be verbally abusing her, ripping her insides to shreds while she has to pretend that everything is perfectly fine, that she is capable of laughter. Or what about that woman you noticed the other day, her son went off to college– and discovered heroine. We never know what lies behind other people’s smiles.
The thing is, we all have our own crazy. It varies in degrees during different times in our lives, ranging from the sting of a sudden paper cut, to that deep crazed pain, so painful, it feels almost abstract. What we do have in common however, is that we all have the power within us to cope. Whatever it is we are going through, during whatever time in our lives, we all possess that inner strength, somewhere deep within us, to win the challenges we are faced with. Yet, sometimes I know, we all need a little help in winning these wars– so I thought I’d write up for you a list of tips that always help me when the pain gets too great, and I start to feel abstract.
If we could taste music it would probably taste like soul. It’s like invisible color that seeps into your insides and jostles you up all over. I am actually listening to music right now, as it happens to be. Thing is, I have found that music has a certain power to take you to another place. Whenever I listen to Lindsey Stirling, Irish fiddle, or 20’s Charleston jazz, it always manages to take me out of my pain, and it lets me dance. Sometimes though, I just want to cry with my music, so I’ll put on some Bastille or Evanescence, and the sadness will seep out with the melancholy of the music. Whatever it is, music sweeps you away, so that your wounds don’t end up feeling so raw against the atmosphere.
2. Talk To Someone
Sometimes, you just brim with sadness, with circumstance, and you feel as if you have no one to tell- as if no one would understand you. Let me tell you something, there is always going to be someone who will want to listen to you. Who ever told you that you aren’t worthy enough of being listened to is a liar and has his/her own problems they need to deal with. Talking to someone- doesn’t matter if it is a friend, a parent, a teacher, a neighbor, even your little kid sister– it helps. It helps alleviate the pain so that you aren’t facing it alone. Just don’t make the mistake of feeling that you burden people with your problem, because if people truly care about you, they will never feel burdened, they will want to be there for you, and may even be upset that you didn’t tell them. And if you truly feel that you have no one in your life that you can speak to, then find a therapist– I’m serious–and spill your guts. It’s illegal for them to repeat what you say anyway. Just tell someone, you shouldn’t have to ever face things alone.
I do this all the time. When I am frustrated, I always seek out some place away from everything, and just contemplate life for a bit–by myself. It can be very healthy to get away from the frustrating situation itself, and it is even healthier to do it alone. Sometimes all we need is a little self reflection, just some time to be alone with our own thoughts so that we can make sense of an upsetting event. Personally, my two favorite places to go when I want to be by myself is usually somewhere with greenery– something about being near trees and flowers really calms me. Or, a really populated place as matter of fact, so that I can watch other people without being noticed myself. For some reason that helps me.
4. Talk To G-d.
Disclaimer: I understand that not everyone believes in a god, and that is fine. what I mean by this category, is it is good to just get your feelings out to the air. Just to let them out. Write a letter to the wind, and throw it out to the ocean, or a lake. Write in a diary. Pretend you are on the phone and simply talk to no one. TALK TO YOUR FLIPPING PET GOLDFISH. Just talk. For me however, I love talking to G-d, I talk to Him all the time. Whenever something feels broken, I ask Him for whatever I want– to fix what is broken, to give me the strength to endure it, to give me the things I need, but to make those things sweet. And you know what? He usually pulls through. (Sometimes He says no though, which is fine, it just means that I didn’t need that specific thing).
5. Do Something Crazy
There all also times, when normal just doesn’t cut it. I remember that when I was around 16/17/18 and I was into my punk rock stage, there was a particular outfit that I wore when I was particularly upset. It consisted of a tight black long-sleeved teeshirt, a black vest, a pouffy black and white skirt, turquoise tights, black combat boots, a black leather cuff around my wrist, a piece of white lace around my neck, and a lot of black eyeliner. I called it my crazy outfit. And with this outfit I want with my iPod to somewhere else to seek my solitude. I am not telling you to smoke weed or jump onto a train track– I mean, get out of your comfort zone and do something unexpected. Even if that something is spontaneously volunteering at a soup kitchen. Or buying a homeless man some deodorant and leaving it somewhere near him so he can find it. Or driving to a lake/sea and jumping in, never mind the cold. Doing something unexpected both puts you in a completely different atmosphere, and helps remind you that the world isn’t as small as you may think it is.
6. Think About The Things You Do Have
My blog. My friends. My family. My job. The people who care about me. G-d. My talents and abilities. My beautiful future. The lifestyle I lead. The ability to make choices– and the right choices. Music. My laptop. Nature. Gorgeous Hollywood Hills right outside my window. The beach. I feel better already. Nothing ever seems so black when you compare it to all the things you do have. Just write a list, and keep it– its interesting to look over when you are feeling down once again, and it sure as anything makes you feel better as your write it. Oh yes, sun soaked grass.
7. Just Laugh.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do is laugh. Trust me, everything, and I mean everything– becomes much more ridiculous when you are laughing at it in the face. I can think about the most horrible times in my life, like when my father was battling cancer, and the world just looked like a brighter place after I laughed. His situation even looked better after I had a good laugh. I was able to believe that he would recover, that G-d had some sort of trick up His sleeve, simple waiting to burst out. Or if you just got into a fight with your friend/partner, laughing at the situation turns it from something uber serious to something slightly ridiculous. Kind of like the boggart from Harry Potter– it showed you your greatest fear, yet with the flick of your wrist and the word “Ridikulos”,
you simply ended up laughing.
Well, that is all for today folks, I hope you enjoyed this more heartfelt post. I certainly did, all these tips are close to my heart, and took me years to discover and cultivate. Just remember guys, the world is never as hopeless or alone as it may seem at the time. Just look up, I promise you, you will see some sky.
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What are some things you do, when you start to feel abstract?
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