A Different Take On Mainstream


Right so I just need to start this thing because if I don’t, I will never escape the beginnings of writer’s block that is beginning to take over my mind. I don’t think you will believe me if I told you that the entire outfit you are about to see was solely inspired by the wooden watch on my wrist. You see, when JORD* Wood Watches pitched this collaboration idea to me, I almost fell off my desk chair with excitement. Because you know those items you see in the store, the ones that make your heart flutter slightly, and your fingers start staying to your purse to see how much money you have left after your lipstick splurge? That item, that when you hold it, you feel it already connecting to your soul, promising you that if you buy it, all will be right with the world. Even the Presidency. So that’s the feeling I got when JORD Wood Watches sent me this extremely unique watch.
First of all, I just want to talk about the scent. You guys, it smells like wood. I know this sounds really weird, like I’m sitting in my living room sniffing a watch, but the watch simply exudes this newness, this hint of spiciness within the wood that is making my roommate look at me very strangely right now. Whatever. Second, you can tell that JORD paid attention to artistry and detail when fashioning this watch. The wood is smooth and finely carved, and there are beautiful marble-esque swirls within the wood that reminds me of a tiger’s eye stone. I also love how JORD uses different kinds of wood on the same watch, so that it doesn’t only serve a function, but is a work of art as well.
Wearing: the Zebrawood and Maple Watch from the Fieldcrest Series

Can we please also discuss the packaging for just a few seconds? Because really. Really. JORD has outdone itself on this front. The box first of all, is simply beautiful. Made out of smooth, sturdy wood, and proudly branded with the logo in various directions, it honestly makes you happy to receive something from JORD. I mean, who wouldn’t squeal if something like this came in the mail? The lid is also magnetic, so as to prevent slippage, and has currently been recycled on my shelf as a jewelry box. I will also say this– JORD also customizes the size of the watch for you– using a printable ruler, which you can get free off their site–where you can measure your wrist, and send in your measurements when you are ready to order. Additionally, JORD doesn’t only deal with women’s watches, they also have an excellent line of men’s watches, which honestly, would make a beautiful gift for any significant other, or lucky male family member. Sadly, I am single AL (single as life), but there are other, normal people in the world who do indeed come into contact with the opposite gender from time to time– so for those people–TRUST ME, THIS A GOOD GIFT.  

So this is where I tell you how I splattered my jacket with paint. Ahem: Once upon a time, there lived a boring, generic, green army style jacket from Forever XII. Cynical Duchess came across it in the store during one of her (rare) shopping expeditions. She was about to not buy it, as it seemed a little consumerist for her, (wow, I sound like a wannabe hipster), but instead she decided to buy it and give it a little makeover. Therefore, one legit FREEZING Wednesday night, she went outside to her landlord’s ugly concrete backyard, and splattered paint all over the jacket. (Don’t tell my landlord, but there are still little signs of paint in odd places which I tried to cover up, but failed. Ssssshhh). 

And this is the point where I struggle in finding what else to talk about, because as we all know, while I like showing off my outfits on the interwebs, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WAX POETIC OVER THEM. Right let’s try:
So I’m wearing a dress. As girls happen to do at times. Yes, that is a skirt underneath, but one needs to cover those pesky knees somehow. I’m also wearing shoes.

This is a photo of me posing like a fake model and looking seriously off into the distance. If only I was one whole foot taller. I still wouldn’t be a model. 
Jacket– Forever XII (DIY splattered)
Dress– Heavenly Couture
Pencil skirt– Heavenly Couture
Nude tights– Melas
Boots– a random house full of shoes in Tzfat, Israel (don’t ask). 
Choker– Forever XII

ALSO: JORD is hosting a GIVEWAY CONTEST on their website! Enter for a chance to win a $100 gift code to use on their website! I know a lot of you will say “ehh, I never win these things”, but ENTER ANYWAY because Jord is giving out a $25 gift card to EVERYONE who participated in the giveaway. SO JUST CLICK CLICK CLICK!!! <– RIGHT THERE. I mean, it’s free money people.
*Offer ends April 9, 2017. I know, I’m really really late with this, but honestly, I wish I had all the time in the world for blogging, but unfortunately I do not. My roommate even said this to me today– “You know Batsheva, I would be a really good blogger, if I had no life”. Ouch. I mean, even my roommate recognizes the fact that investing in your blog means giving up a lot of your spare free time. But we do what we love to do, and we push onward. Right? Right.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this fashion collab with JORD*. And of course, while this post does have affiliate links, all opinions are my own. Like always, and like duh.
THANKYOU SO MUCH RH FOR THE GORGEOUS PICS!! Like seriously people, give her a round of applause– this is her first time using a DSLR. And she thought she wasn’t good at photography. Pfft.
Cynical Duchess

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Luxury Wooden Watch